H.I.P.H.O.P. YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE

Dr. John Speakeasy holds a PHD of linguistic from Crown Heights university. Founder and director of the R.E.A.L (Re-Educating Abnormally Literate People) institute of Compton.

Hook : Remember how many times you were left out or trampled on just because you didn't show off enough attitude. Here's your chance to get some respect with Dr John's effortless R.E.A.L. method. Five minutes a day and others "will better recognize!". Satisfaction guaranteed or as you will soon learn to say " for those who like it sing that shit for those who don't eat a dick!".

HERE'S WHAT TO DO!

The R.E.A.L method teaches you how to apply some bangin' style to everyday life situation. Here are some examples.

Case # 1/ SOCIAL LIFE
Ever found yourself alone in a party cornered by unfriendly strangers glaring at you. Now, ALPS (abnormally literate people) would likely solve this issue by talking rubbish on the last art-show they went to with the first complete stranger fool enough to establish eye contact. They've simply got it bad. In fact to get all the slick hos and playas in the room to show some respect, all you have to do is step in the middle of the room and scream "Wow-ha, I've got you all in check!". Your mad delivery will automatically win you best seats in the house.

Case # 2 / WORKPLACE
Let's face it you are not going to impress during a job interview by boasting about your fine track record. Save yourself some time and impress all the Bob D'abolinas by making it clear you are the man to do the job as "you rip it hardcore like porno flick bitches". Benefits, dental and profit sharing plan will automatically be watered down on you.

Case #3 / PEER PRESSURE
Hungover from too much "gin & juice" at last night's party? Your friends giggle at you because you ended up making out with a midget. Now ALPS would try to deal with that kind of situation by babbling about "personality" and being "decent". Damn Fools don't know shit on how to make it in life. Come on be a real mutha about : "I treat that bitch like seven up never have, never will!". This will cut the gossip into a collective and ever-convenient "Word!"

Plenty more cases are delivered in our full fledge package "Bubbling yo Way through the Bullshit!" so hurry don't delay send off your benjamins over to Dr John Speakeasy to R.E.A.L Institute 333 W Rosecrans Avenue COMPTON CA 90222 USA. First hundred covers will get a free copy of Dr. John's comprehensive guide to "wettin' up punks". We out !

FOOTNOTES :

Concept sampled from : Unsung Heroes' Unleashed ( Scenario).
Take a couple copies, maybe three or fours, in case you wear them out.

Guests in order of appearances:
Busta Rhymes, Inspectah Deck, Snoop Dogg.